Domination and submission and the Post-Modern Condition

Direction and Affirmation in the Void

Living in our modern age means that each and every one of us is expected to figure out our lives from scratch. This is a lot of pressure! In prior eras you could rely on traditions to guide you in figuring out who you are and what you were meant to do in this world, appealing to the authority of priests to help you figure things out where traditional guidance seemed uncertain. You can still do that today, but it’s different now - where before those traditions and authorities were a stable part of the cultural background, today they are only available to people as a conscious individual choice. You do not first-and-foremost exist as, say, a Christian, or a man-or-a-woman, or a husband-or-wife, or a tradesman, or whatever - you are an autonomous, neutral, liberal subject, free to enter and exit any relationship and any identity as your individual reason and whims see fit. 

I’m personally very happy to have all of this free space to play in with respect to being human, and I also want to acknowledge that it can be a little disorienting. Questions like “am I a good person, or at least good enough?”, or “am I doing the right thing in this very moment?” no longer have readily available answers in the way they once did. Indeed, our modern priestly class - activists and academics - are generally out to undermine any and all established claims of moral direction and authority, consciously attempting to pull up oppressive ideology by the root as deeply as they can. 

This can be exhausting, and luckily there are loads of exotic erotic practices which can help bring relief in these trying times. Specifically, if you are feeling overwhelmed by all the flailing-in-the-void that you do and need some rather direct assurance that you’re doing and being the right thing, Domination and/or submission may be right for you. 

Specifically, Domination/submission provides some very immediate personal relief to such concerns as whether or not you are being a good person or doing the right thing. If you are Dominating someone, the question of “what am I supposed to be doing?” is answered with “whatever I want”. If you are submitting to someone, the question of “what am I supposed to be doing?” is answered with “whatever they want”. Any confusion can be clarified immediately by asking questions of the person you are with, rather than appealing to a silent/absent God.

This isn’t anything like actual slavery, a legal impossibility and moral abomination - it’s based on the same freedom-in-the-void consent that everything else is in our lives, as temporary as everything else. 

Nor is it a one-size-fits all thing, here to play the role that God previously played for generations past. It’s there for people who are wired for it, who feel curious and responsive, not meant to be forced upon anyone unwilling. 

Notice, also, that nothing I described above comes with a necessary erotic element to it. It can, and for many it does, but for many it doesn’t, and as such kink is something that can be explored without actually having to fuck anybody.

There’s also way, way more to the world of kink than Domination and submission - “power exchange”, as it’s often called - but I think the broad stokes I slapped on the canvas above hopefully help situate it as a thing that can be helpful for some humans today. Not something necessary for all, but a route to insight and connection and wholeness for those who see themselves with a place there. Not something weird or shameful or taboo, but something that might actually be at least a little healthy.