I hope this hurts exactly enough for you to never do it again

A few weeks ago my Apple Watch made the tragic decision to end its own life, leaping face-first from my bathroom countertop onto the cold hard tile below. I was saddened and then - briefly - angered by the loss. I liked my Apple Watch, and it was now lying shattered beyond use on the ground, and I felt a powerful urge to punish the person responsible fo…