Mercy, by definition, is undeserved

And is also the only real way to have any kind of power

Long ago, when I was drinking, I disappeared. Given that I was still alive and didn’t have money to leave town I didn’t disappear very successfully, but nevertheless that was the objective. I was overwhelmed with the kind of terror that can only come from really bending your brain in a terrible direction for a long time, and some part of me thought that…